Tuesday, October 13, 2009

Guest Blog: Meet a Boy Named Tzu!

I'm turning the keyboard over to my newest guest blogger:

This is His Holiness the Doggy Lama Niklas Lidstrom the Shih Tzu.  Touch his Puu Doll at your peril.
Hello!  My assistant is busy trying to get some paintings finished before the deadline for her next co-op show and no one is watching hockey right now so I figured it was as good a time as any to get online and see what all the fuss is about.  You're more than likely here because you want a different view on the important things in life: french fries, hockey and my Puu doll.

First things first.  If you touch my Puu doll, I will cut you.

Second:  All of the french fries are mine.

Third: I have been adopted into a hockey loving household. This is a huge improvement over the shelter.  While I appreciate the people there for taking me in, it's nice to have the run of the house, occasional rogue turns at the remote, and a box of toys I don't have to share.  Now if I could just get the fat one to stay off of my bed, everything would be perfect.

Hockey is really easy.  The big panda bears in the net cages throw biscuits out on the ice and everyone chases them with sticks until someone grabs a person with the wrong sweater on and beats them before the color-challenged players tmake them go into the naughty box.  I think they may do this because they are jealous of the pretty sweaters with aminals on them.  There's also a man with a striped suit and no neck or facial expression who stands on the side.  He may be there to walk someone out if they have to go wee.

There's this big wolfhound in a red sweater?  His name is Ovechkin?  Some people here like him.  Some people's mothers will only say that they like him better than Hossa.  Earlier this season Tim the Big Boston Panda knocked Ovechkin down and one of his teammates pushed him flat on the ice as he skated by.  Gramma did this weird "Ha ha" Mom calls a Nelson Laugh.  Hockey makes Gramma mean.  It makes our friend Silbia mean, too.  I heard she was at the Nashville/Dallas season opener and managed to get down next to the plexi and bang on it and tell Brendan Morrow that he was making her damned mad.  I don't think they thought an 83 year old Methodist Sunday School teacher was going to do that!

I am also trying to get my friend, Maggie the Hampshire Pig to blog with me.  She loves swimming and Michael Phelps.  She said that he is the most beautiful man in sports and no one could turn her head.  So I got out an old copy of Hockey News.

"Who IS that?" she squealed.

"Zdeno Chara" I said.

"He's...BEAUTIFUL!"   I also showed her a couple of pictures of Pavel Datsyuk, so our girl is hooked. 

Pigs.  Give them a burrito and some pretty Russian men and they're as pliable as beeswax in Phoenix in August. 

Until next time!

PS.  Get well wishes to JP Dumont.  As a former shelter dog, I am glad he took the time to speak on our behalf this Summer.  He's my favorite guy here in Nashville and I miss seeing him on the ice.  -Nik