We've been invaded again. Who are these pantsless, cowboybooted people who seem to have taken over my nice city? I made the mistake of driving down 4th yesterday afternoon and... Oh the humanity! Orange, minimally dressed in the shortest shorts or flimsy babydoll microminis and cowboy boots.
There were a few people who, at first blush looked like they were either wearing those clear halloween masks with makeup tint on them and blonde fright wigs or they were possibly followers of some cult that worshipped the Sizzler Sisters from the old Kids in the Hall show. Then I realised that these were people who wanted desperately to look like Taylor Swift.
As an alumnus of Opryland, I pine for the days when people called to complain about Loretta Lynn daring to wear red spandex on the Saturday night show. The generously proportioned, braless biker chicks in wide mesh Bocephus tank tops? Now I see that they were amatuers compared to the coordinated uniform of sheer damned IDon'tGiveAFuckIfNashvilliansGetAGoodLookAtMyVajayjayEvenIfTheyAreWeepingAndTryingToTurnAway that is invading the streets of my home like..yes, like the damned cicadas.
And seriously, if anyone EVER again decides to talk shit about Detroit Red Wings fans (who are usually very nice), I'm going to remind them of the annual Invasion of the People of Walmart.
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2 comments:
pictures or it didn't happen
Oh sweetie, I'm driving in dowtown Nashville afternoon traffic and there is a man in the passenger seat who is normally not in the vagina business counting exposed cooters. Video of Kevin's reactions would have been far more entertaining
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