Wednesday, July 19, 2006

A Woo Woo Pronouncement from Rufus Christ...

I wrote this for an online friend who was having a rough day and posted it on a forum where we chat. Here it is so you, too can experience the cosmic peace that can only come from guided meditations accompanied by new age muzak. In fact, another online friend made an audio file of it here so you can get the full effect:


(cue Kitaro music)

You are a creature of the universe. God danced on the day you were born so that you could dance and sing and love and eventually unfold into a flower in the garden that is his universe.

When you are sad or have menstrual cramps or want to stab an ex-boyfriend in the eye with a pencil, all of the Care Bears and My Little Ponies get together and bake gooseberry tarts and meditate on ways to heal the cosmos.

The angels told Rod McKuen about you and he popped a boner.

In conclusion: Count the seeds in a pomegranate, laugh at the clouds, kiss a puppy and thank every diety who will return your calls that you're you and not Ann Coulter.

copyright 2006 Jas Faulkner

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